Last week on 
Last night's Bachelorette was not the most emotional episode ever but it did excite me for several reasons: All dates led to the fantasy suit where one man couldn't get his soldier up, and in the end, Jillian finally chose 
When last we saw Jillian Harris, she was in Spain, ostentatiously turning down four overnight dates. Tonight, we'll see Jillian accept three overnight dates. Confused, anyone?
She's in Maui, land of crashing surf and literal long walks on the beach -- which she's doing in a bikini while she muses about her special guys in voiceover. She's thinking about a proposal constantly, she says. She draws a heart in the sand that says "J + ?", which I'm pretty sure she didn't think up spontaneously.
First up is Kyptin. There's 10 percent of him she's still uneasy about, she tells the camera. She squeals with delight as she hugs the other 90 percent. They head to a golf cart, which Jillian drives -- a good idea given his scooter performance last week -- to a platform in the middle of nowhere that leads to a "ropes tour." What's that, you might well ask. I'll tell you the second I find out.
VISIT HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE.
Aloha, Bachelorette lovers! This week's episode confirmed that poor Jillian is reality TV's answer to Job. She's been lied to, abandoned, had her feet molested by a P(ervert) — and now, she's been rejected by a suitor's penis. But much like that aforementioned Biblical figure, Jillian continues to bear the suffering with a truly astounding resilience.
Perhaps the change of scenery has buoyed her spirits. Now that she and the three remaining bachelors have moved on to Maui, marriage is on her mind ''constantly... I'm hoping that someone up there, or someone in here [gestures to heart] will tell me what decision I'm supposed to make.'' Bad news, honey: God is too concerned about who's getting the next HOH on Big Brother to bother with your problems, so you'll have to rely on the little Canadian inside your rib cage to help you figure it out.
Dolphin squeal! It's date time, and there's Kipper waiting for her on the other side of a suspension bridge. Once again Jillian's planned a date that involves dangling high above the ground: they're doing a ropes course, a decision that the Bachelorette quickly seems to regret. She needs constant encouragement from Kiptyn — which she gets by repeatedly demanding that he kiss her — before she can complete any portion of the course. The final leg of their adventure is called the ''Leap of Faith'' (sorry, Team Bachelorette, but that's a little too on-the-nose). It involves jumping off a ''totem pole,'' as Jillian insists on calling it, and trying to grab a trapeze several feet away. As whiny as she gets (''Can you promise you'll give me a big kiss when you get to the bottom?''), Jillian still manages to make the leap — and though she misses the trapeze by about 15 feet, I've got to say I'm impressed. No way in hell I would have even gotten up on the pole.
VISIT HERE FOR THE REST OF THE ARTICLE.
Chicago's Ed Swiderski is one of the last two men standing on "The Bachelorette," but there have been "bumps in the road," as he puts it, to everlasting bliss with Jillian Harris.
Last night's episode was nothing short of a gaping pothole.
After Ed salvaged his job at Microsoft and worked his way back onto the show, he made up for lost time by flying his parents in to meet Jillian in Hawaii. It would be hard not to love them; "What the hell are we doing here?" asked his father, a rare voice of reason.
"I swear that I would get engaged if she picked me," Ed told him. "Honestly. I just have to pull the trigger." Afterward, Ed and Jillian retired to the "fantasy suite" to have "some intimate, cozy, sexy time," said Jillian. The lights went out . . . and then the lights went back on again. That doesn't usually happen.
It's hard to say exactly what the problem was. Ed explained, "I was very nervous, and uh, it just didn't happen. ... I couldn't show her that I really truly am in love with her."
VISIT HERE FOR THE REST OF THE ARTICLE.
