First off, when Jessica called me, the first thing I said to her was “Are you okay?” I felt so bad for her. I had only known Justin for a matter of weeks; he had betrayed her for years. No woman should ever let a man treat her with disrespect the way Justin did. The reason I didn’t look super upset during the phone call is because I was not going to let him hurt me. I wouldn’t give Justin the satisfaction of thinking he could affect me. I wanted to be strong — for me, for Jessica, and for all the women and girls watching who have been betrayed by a man before.
When I told Justin that he would regret this, I didn’t mean his lack of relationship with me. I meant that he would want a chance to explain himself — not only to me but also to all of you watching. As you all saw, he didn’t do such a great job explaining himself. I guess that is what happens when you’re caught in a lie. That’s all I really have to say about that.
Let’s move on! How cute were the little wooden sandals Ty and I wore on our date? He actually made a joke, saying that the way we walk in the shoes is how we will walk when we are an 80-year-old couple. At dinner, learning more about Ty’s marriage was important. I had gotten the sense that Ty was expecting to have a very traditional marriage, where the mother stays home and the father works, and I don’t want that. I imagine a lot of the women cringed when they heard Ty make the comment about women being presidents of companies. Ha ha. Trust me, I cringed too. But at the end of the date, I realized that it was an innocent comment by Ty even though it came out in a funny way. He would want nothing more than to treat a woman right.
Now let’s talk about the weird things that came out of my mouth! What was the 98 percent comment about? I re-watched that five times and I still don’t understand what I was trying to say. I think I was trying to say that the majority of the men I know that don’t have successful relationships couldn’t express their feelings the way Ty did. Dancing with him at the end of the night was so much fun. The musicians played some up-tempo music, and let me tell you, that boy can shake his hips!
If any of you want to have a heart attack with your man, take him to olive oil wrestle in Turkey. Oh my goodness! I was so scared that the guys were going to get hurt. When we originally planned the date, we were going to have each professional wrestler wrestle two bachelors at a time. However, the guys got so pumped up once they saw the wrestlers that we decided to let them go one on one. The guys were pretty beat up at the end of the date so I sent a masseuse to the hotel to give the guys massages. I hope she took good care of them.
My date with Frank was so much fun. He was the perfect person to explore the bazaar with since he has such a great sense of humor. He was like a kid in a candy store because of all the interesting things we saw that he could comment on. My favorite thing was the Turkish Delight. Yummy!
The second part of our date took place at the Basilica Cistern. It was honestly the most magical place I have ever been in my life. I could barely breath when we walked in because it was so beautiful. Frank reminds me a lot of my friends back in San Francisco, so I feel very comfortable with him. In the same breath he also scares me. I feel vulnerable with him, and his lack of confidence in our relationship is scary. Frank said I swooped in and rescued him at the right time, but am I ready to rescue anyone?
Also, I realize that the theme of my season so far has been about whether or not I feel like the man I fall for will love me back. Is this true? Yes, absolutely. But this doesn’t come from a place of weakness; it comes from being realistic about the situation I am in. Is it realistic to think that every single guy who came on the show would fall in love with me? No, it’s not. And I was shown just that at the beginning of this episode.
It didn’t feel good letting Craig go at the end of the night because I liked him so much. He is funny, smart and interesting. I am almost smiling when I say goodbye to Craig because I know in my heart that we will end up being good friends after this. Looking forward to seeing him at The Men Tell All.
Until Portugal …
XO, –Ali Fedotowski